Trump's Inaugural Band Finally Chosen!

LADY BUNNY in 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE TRUMPMAS

Hey, Kids! It's Time for the Vice Presidential Debate!!!

Ammosexuals May Agree to Tone Down Open Carry if They Can Keep Their Gay Porn Secret

"Shut yer yap, Skeeter!"

Hogfart Alabama – Studies have been shown that the highest viewership of gay porn exists in the Bible belt red states. Many studies. More studies, more times than these porn viewers have read the Bible.

They are not going to make a statement to the press. Porn is legal. Despite the fact that Congress voted that they still could shoot anything that moves, whenever they want! So our correspondent down south was getting suspicious.

Honey Lulu was able to disguise herself at their latest KKK meeting (she knows stage make-up). She overheard a man named Billy Bob Beau complain, “That Obama could STILL raid our shacks to take our guns at any time. Ain’t he running for a fourth term? What if he shows up at the wrong time if you catch my drift, you stupid moran?” Skeeter replied, “I reckon so. That’s what I did not read. About the 4th term. Never learned ya know.” The plan was for them to spread the word of caution on private social media pages. And all agreed, you don't need an AK-47 to go to Winn-Dixie. Waffle House, maybe.

Honey Lulu was still suspicious. While Skeeter was out to buy more ammo, figuring it would take him most of the day, she jumped up on the sofa on his porch and peaked through the greasy window. Some of the DVDs included:

• Duck Dickesty
• KKKocks
• Bareback Outhouse
• How the South’s Boner Will Rise Agin
• Lynch Me From Behind
• Getting Boned with the Stars ’n Bars

She concluded the one film that wasn’t porn was Deliverance, and they may even be making their own. The horror!

Unsolicited Drivel thanks you for the great reporting, Honey LuLu!

Explosive Report Reveals How The Government Sequester Will Kill You

Victim of Sequester the Molester

London – A paper outside of America that none of us will ever read just published an explosive expose on the hidden costs of our government sequester and suggested that 98% of Americans should just bend over and kiss their “arses” (limey spelling) goodbye. So basically get your ASS to the bank or wherever and ask for what’s called “power of attorney” so you can have someone decide who will get your leftover catheters, your Nascar memorabilia, including your autograph from Dale Earnhardt, SENIOR, your pointed hood, gun collection, your “Don’t Tread on Me” flag, your secret homemade interracial porn video, your hair extensions, your “Bump it,"  fake fingernails, your trucker hat collection and any tickets you bought to the upcoming Monster truck rally should you suddenly perish.

Unsolicited Drivel caught up with the reporter, Nigel Hogthorne from The Watcher, U.K. for the Cliff Notes version of the explosive report.  He told us, “Well I do say madam that you people are how you say?  Up shite’s creek without a paddle due to the current crop of politicians some of you rubes voted into office. There will be cuts to programs like Meals on Wheels for your seniors, for some of whom that is their only food source, people will be turned away for housing, which I assume will be really awkward for those in the southern states when they go to pitch a tent on someone’s lawn they may or may not have burned a cross on after one to eight too many beers. People will be refused cancer treatment. You're pretty much all going to die. Sorry. Now Britain can rise again!  Jolly good!! Anyhow, the reason you Americans didn’t notice all of the cuts is because your silly arses go into a blind rage as soon as you hear the words ‘cuts to defense spending.’ Basically, the only Americans whose lives will not change will be the millionaires, billionaires, and the Appalachian hill people and the swamp people of Louisiana because they live off the grid anyway.  And speaking of grids, power grids, enjoyed any good blackouts lately?   I must say your politicians have planned this very poorly. My only question is this. If they kill off the lower classes, who will pour their 12-year old scotch?”