Exclusive! George Zimmerman Jury Selected

Penis Shaped State - Unsolicited Drivel is exclusively reporting that the jury has been selected after day 7 in the George Zimmerman (notorious hoodie and Skittle hater's) murder trial (alleged) of Skittle and hoodie fan Trayvon Martin! Somehow, one of our sneaky roving reporters got in the courtroom for voir dire, and even though the jury is likely to be sequestered, she somehow convinced ALL 12 jurors to friend her on Facebook.  So here they are!

A PSA for George Zimmerman

Finally in police custody.

(Via Matt Bors)

Lone Black Listener of Rush Limbaugh’s Show Going to Quit That Bitch

Phoenix, AZ – The only black person in America listening to Rush Limbaugh’s radio show was recently revealed to be Mr. George Martin of Phoenix and he has confirmed in regard to the right wing blowhard’s show that he’s going to “quit that bitch.”

Limbaugh has been making comments recently regarding the controversial shooting of innocent black teen Trayvon Martin, insisting that the huge amount of media coverage is all to aid in President Obama’s reelection efforts.

Unsolicited Drivel uncovered Mr. Martin’s outrage while trolling the Rants and Raves boards on Craig’s List. He told us, “I initially tuned in to Rush’s show because I’m a dyed in the wool sexist. I can’t get enough of that Feminazi talk.  And I love the word 'slut.'  But I was under the impression that Rush had moved on to exclusively hating on the Mexicans now. Just like I am. But these latest comments about the Trayvon case and brothers in general, make me want to quit that bitch - for good. Besides, Obama doesn’t have to use that black child’s tragedy to get re-elected! He’s whiter than Limbaugh is.”

Cynical Lizard on "Stand Your Ground"