Could California Go to Pot?

Los Angeles – A ballot initiative to legalize marijuana and tax the f*&k out of it garnered more than enough signatures yesterday to end up on the ballot this fall in California, putting the most populous state at the forefront of the nation’s politics, and without them even having to send their state budget to hell in a hand-basket with a recall election.  The number of signatures needed to put the issue on the ballot was 433,971, but certification supporters claimed to have received upwards of a b’jillion with only about 700,000 being valid as coming from certified citizens and excluding Mexican drug cartels.  This puts California one step closer to repealing a failed policy, saving their economy, and possibly losing the moniker, “the land of the fruits and nuts,” as they could change it to “the land of weeds, some fruits and maybe nuts too, although they are way less nutty now that they are evenly calm and not driving drunk and crashing into canyons.”  Conservative politicians are already making rumblings about California’s plans and have started boycotting their Chardonnay and pistachios, as well as pledging that they will continue to fight their futile and deceptively publicized war on drugs in an incessant effort to create even more of a burden on our economy, which they could save with a stroke of a pen, if only they weren’t so busy stroking themselves.