Al Gore May Have Left Tipper for Whale Poo

Many people are still stunned by the breakup of long time political couple Al and Tipper Gore.  Just yesterday rumors began to surface that Al had had an affair with Laurie David, a producer on his documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.”  David herself quickly debunked the rumor, but still offered no explanation as to how she was able to bang ex-husband Larry David for many years.

Now another possibility of what broke up the Gore’s marriage has come to light. 

Scientists have discovered that whale poo is a strong ally in the fight against global warming and it is believed that when Al Gore found out, he was so crazy about the idea of the carbon-reducing crap that he even blurted out that he wished he could marry it.  Apparently, whale poo emits iron which plankton love enough to eat, and plankton can suck up a shit-load of CO2, so everybody’s happy. Except probably, Tipper Gore.

We asked a close family friend about this theory of whales sending the Gore’s marriage into the crapper and he told us, “well, it’s kind of like everyone assumed.  Tipper got so tired of hearing about the miracle of the shitty sperm whales and how that over whaling is responsible for the ‘krill paradox,’ whatever that is.  Al wouldn’t let up on it, telling her over and over again how the sperm whales could undo the carbon emissions of 40,000 cars a year.  It got to the point where she could either go crazy or start thinking about another 40,000 amount – dollars in monthly spousal support.  I’d choose that option too over talking shit all day.”