Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Breaking News – Obama’s Meeting with BP

We’ll sum it up for you so you don’t’ have to watch a video:

Containment, recovery, containment, recovery, etc., etc.  Legitimate claims will be paid.  We will no longer adhere to the shameful 75 million cap under Federal law.  We have agreed to an offer of 20 billion from BP to pay claims and this offer will not be capped.  We can only hope they don’t backtrack later and use the “fat finger” excuse like they do on Wall Street and say they meant to offer only 20 million.   Don’t you worry - BP WILL meet its obligations. They are still a viable company and we need to keep them so (don’t boycott their gas).  We have mapped out a financial and legal framework that we can live with without our heads exploding, and the fund will be controlled by an impartial independent third party, not BP, and certainly NOT the government.  The fund will not supercede individual or state rights in claims court if your unborn children come out with gills after swimming in local Gulf waters.  We will continue to hold them responsible.  This tragic shit-storm won't clear overnight.  We are sorry that those bitches Rita and Katrina offered no cushion for the locals not to mention the economy meltdown courtesy of the previous administration. As God (or Allah if you are convinced that Obama's really Muslim) is our witness, today was only a start.

 

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