Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Oprah Offers Fergie Her Own Talk Show

Oprah Winfrey, the queen of the American cathode ray tubes, has offered financially fickle Fergie (the Duchess of D’oh!) her own TV talk show. 

Winfrey is launching her own cable channel OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network, not as in I own everything, including your thoughts) early next year and has offered Sarah Ferguson a deal.

A source close to Fergie told us, “Oprah contacted her last week and offered this ray of light at the end of the tunnel for the cash-strapped Duchess.  She said she appreciates how Fergie keeps reinventing herself and believes that the American public would too.”

We wondered about Oprah’s theory so we asked one of her viewers who told us, “I don't get what Oprah's thinking. Was this Gail's decision?  I can’t relate to Fergie at all.  Even with all of my yo-yo dieting.   She screwed up being a princess, every shallow American girl’s dream, and she wasn’t even smart enough to get a good divorce lawyer for a decent settlement.  Or smart enough to cheat on Andrew so her kids wouldn’t look like Windsors, like Diana did to Charles.  It's just not a show that the average American will relate to - unless Oprah plans to have Fergie do it when she's drunk every night."

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