Lady Gaga Still a Meat Head

Portland, ME – A day before the Senate vote over gays in the military, Lady Gaga appeared at a rally to campaign against “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” yesterday and was still trying to sell her crazy meat dress as a symbol for gay rights.

She told a crowd of her little monsters, "Equality is the prime rib of America, but because I am gay, I don't get to enjoy the greatest cut of meat my country has to offer." She added further, "Shouldn't everyone deserve to wear the same meat dress I do?"

While there is no argument that the military policy of not letting gays serve openly is extremely unjust, the meat argument is still kind of confusing.  PETA was nowhere to be found yesterday, very likely because they are still reeling over Gaga’s Kermit the Frog dress she wore last year, so we asked some self-respecting gays for comment.  One local Portland gentleman told us, “Well, it’s good she didn’t wear the meat dress again, as it’s probably covered with maggots by now.  I will say that while I truly appreciate her standing up for gay rights, I still think she could have left the Charles Nelson Reilly glasses at home.  He was never a very great representative for us.  Fashion-wise that is.  And I'm pretty sure that not many of us would be particularly keen on being compared to prime rib.  I mean, isn’t that a favorite cut of grumpy old Republican guys?”