This shocking turn of events in voting leaves us with one question: Next week, will the cheese stand alone? By cheese, we mean Bristol, of course – because supposedly DWTS has helped her lighten up and “not take herself seriously.” And also, supposedly, becoming acquainted with “The Situation*” has forced her to take abstinence even MORE seriously. (*Hey, YOU, outta da gene pool!!!)
Rumors have been flying around the Internets (as we assume they are known in Wasilla), that conservative groups have been urging and guiding viewers on how to vote multiple times to ensure Bristol’s chances of becoming the next hasbeen with a glitter ball on her top closet shelf. Obviously, should she win, the trophy would be the only gay thing in her closet, particularly, if she were bunking with little sister Willow.
Unsolicited Drivel asked one political analyst who specializes in documenting dirty tricks by conservatives for his thoughts. He told us, “Well, one could make a case for Bristol’s success due to a recent study that found conservatives watch reality TV more than liberals, but the same study also said they enjoyed the show Modern Family, which includes gays, so that kind of discredits all of the results. Therefore, I’d have to conclude that gives credence to the possibility that they (conservatives) are encouraging viewers of their ilk to dial in and vote multiple times. Think about it – when one doesn’t spend any time reading the newspapers to collect facts to help make informed and rational decisions, one has plenty of time to hit the redial button. Also, as you will see from the Google search below, the average person, who has not been swayed by conservative politics, is not interested in Bristol’s Cha-Cha.”
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