What’s up with all of the sudden break-ups? Unsolicited Drivel spoke with one of our favorite celebrity bloggers, Mimi Featherwaite of Vapid Online, for her take on it.
U.D.: “Hey, Mimi, what gives with all of these break-ups? We’ve had longer love relationships with heads of lettuce. Also, who the hell are some of these people?”
Mimi: "I'll admit, not all of these couples are front page news, but we can’t fill our publications 24/7 without reporting on everyone we possibly can. The extremely famous couples don’t seem to get married, which makes them less likely to split, so we often get stuck with reporting on couples who haven’t hit puberty, but you are vaguely aware of them because your kids are; couples you are surprised to see together because you thought both of them were gay; couples that you thought had died years ago; couples from Bollywood musicals you’ll never likely sit through; couples you are not even sure are of this Earth, you name them, we’ll report on them. The only prerequisite is that they have a publicist and a pulse. As to why they all seem to be splitting this week, I can’t be sure. It’s the last week to mail Christmas packages in time for the holiday, so maybe they think it’s proper shallow person etiquette to break up by early this week so they don’t have to buy each other a gift?”
UPDATE: The trail of broken hearts continues! News is breaking that Hollywood golden couple, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds have broken up! People Magazine naming that borderline dork "The Sexiest Man Alive" must have gone to his head.
1 comments so far :
Maybe breaking up is their gift to each other. And I'm sure that Dexter guy broke up with his wife because he can't look at those Dumbo-sized ears any more. Oy!
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