State officials have sent samples of the birds to labs for testing by the Poultry Commission Lab and the National Wildlife Health Center Lab in Madison, Wisconsin, but we are hearing rumblings from Arkansas skeptics that the tests will be inconclusive at best.
An environmental worker who had finished picking up the carcasses on Sunday told us, “I don’t think we are going to hear that this was an act of God. Rumors flying around the animal kingdom suggest it was a mass suicide because the birds became convinced that former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee has a serious shot at the GOP nomination for 2012. The oldest known bird fossil dates back some 65 million years and Huckabee believes the world was created only 6,000 years ago. So not only is he dismissing the existence of millions of the birds’ ancestors, the birds believe that if someone as backwards as he is gets elected, a person who thinks America wouldn’t need Mexican labor if only we wouldn’t abort fetuses, then it’s a sure sign of the end of the world. And considering Huckabee’s track record of expanding government and raising taxes under the guise of reducing government and lowering taxes like every other Republican, the birds believed he has a very serious shot at the White House. You know the expression 'birdbrain?' Well unfortunately, the birds died prematurely as they didn’t realize primary season isn’t even here yet and we’ll still need to watch that Mormon guy crash and burn on the campaign trail first in order to make enough room for the voices in Mike’s head."
1 comments so far :
Someone should tell Huckleberry to "Get a brain Morman!"
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