Is a "Charlie Sheen in 2012" Announcement Coming?

In his latest “Violent Torpedo of Truth” tour appearance in Washington, DC, one-dimensional actor Charlie Sheen was said to have gone “full-on birther,” leading many to believe a presidential campaign announcement is forthcoming.

In between rambling about banging hookers, aliens tattooing his marching instructions on the insides of his eyelids and his wanting to snort Dennis Hopper’s ashes or something to that effect, Sheen screeched,  “For starters, I was f**king born here, how about that? And I got proof! Nothing photoshopped about my birth certificate.”

Would the hard-partying, ex-wife threatening, crisis collecting actor really have a chance at the White House?  We asked our political analyst for comment, and he told us:

“Thanks to the Republicans having no solutions to our current economic and societal woes or any real coherent plan for the future, the Americans who voted for them are not only suffering from buyer’s remorse, but also in need of a good laugh.  That’s the only explanation I can derive from the veritable circus sideshow that is the potential candidacies of Michele Bachmann, Donald Trump, Sarah Palin and possibly Charlie Sheen.  However, as the bigots we thought had miraculously evolved suddenly started crawling out of the woodwork as soon as Barack Obama arrived on the national stage, regardless of qualifications or his stance on issues that concern America, expect Sheen’s presidential run to be dead in the water as soon as one of his opponents calls him by his given name, Carlos Estevez, out loud for the media.”