The occasional actress made her 4,589th appearance to promote her cookbook (which Mario Batali probably wrote, but is interspersed with snippets from her journal*) on the cable talk show Chelsea Lately when she hurled the “c-bomb,” which was bleeped out for TV viewers because nobody who watches Chelsea Handler has ever heard that word before. No, actually they've all heard it. Regularly. But TV still has something called "standards and practices" to adhere to.
One of the actresses’ die-hard fans told Unsolicited Drivel, “It was shocking to say the least. It took a very long time for Gwyneth to earn my undeserved fan-worship back once I figured out that she wasn’t a waif-like British girl, and that she probably grew up in a penthouse overlooking Central Park. And now this vulgarity! I suppose she could have used the ‘c-word’ so she could come off as an irreverent whore like Chelsea tries to, but I’m kind of really wondering if maybe the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree and if Gwyneth’s just like her grandma. Oh, now I get why she named her daughter Apple! It didn't make any sense before.”
*Written on organic rice paper with squid ink she collected herself while making calamari for her Daddums.
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