Miley Cyrus Stuns Jaded Liberals By Turning Out to be Cool

Disney refugee and possible future rehab resident, corporate-manufactured singer/actress Miley Cyrus has apparently Tweeted against presidential wannabe Rick Santorum’s stance on same sex marriage, sending spasmodic shockwaves through the jaded, increasingly disillusioned liberal community.

Coming out against the company URBN, purveyor of things that most people can’t afford save for their ultra hip alcohol flasks and an occasional, single ceramic drawer pull or dish towel at companies like Urban Outfitters and Anthropologie, Cyrus slammed their chairman Richard Hayne for donating to the former Pennsylvania Senator, Google legend, and homophobe’s campaign.


She Tweeted:

Santorum, the former number three in the senate before he got rightfully kicked to the curb in 2006, responded by saying that he was not concerned that he lost the “Hannah Montana” vote and still thought he could “get Lindsay Lohan.”

Unsolicited Drivel spoke with one life-long liberal, skeptic, cynic, and hater of most things Disney (except for singing crustaceans) who told us, “Ahhhhhhhh!  I already knew I’d never be able to listen to Miley’s music and couldn’t relate to her smoking salvia at all and now she’s forcing me to admit that she’s cool because she’s not a homophobic bigot and is willing to take a stand against those who are!   I still won’t be able to listen to her music, but maybe if she comes out with a clothing line I could take a look?  Nah, probably not.   I could probably donate to a charity she supports instead.   But good luck to Rick Santorum with his hope of attracting Lindsay Lohan fans as voters.  If he figures out where they are, he might want to let Lindsay in on that information too.”