Kim Kardashian OWNS “Black Hair With Junk-in-the-Trunk” Look

Los Angeles – Celebutard Kim Kardashian just made a shocking move to make her even more irrelevant today by filing a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the apparel retailer Old Navy for using a look-alike model in their ads. 

In addition to claiming the retailer is infringing on her carefully manufactured persona by using model Melissa Molinaro, the reality star also claims that Old Navy is intentionally misleading consumers by letting them think that her butt could ever fit into their jeans.

A pal of the litigious Kardashian told Unsolicited Drivel, “I’m sure you are probably thinking this is all about Melissa dating Kim’s ex Reggie Bush, but it’s not. She doesn’t even have any proof that Melissa has to wax bi-hourly, would wear conflict diamonds that are likely responsible for the genocide of an entire village in Sierra Leone, or has even made a sex-tape. Nevertheless, Kim is so pissed that she also leaning toward trade-marking her having black hair and a voluptuous figure because there’s no way she can trade-mark the ability to remain in the spotlight despite having no discernable talent other than shameless self-promotion.   Paris Hilton already owns the rights to that.”