Speaking to his television audience as if a day without him would be like a day without oxygen*, O’Reilly stated, “It’s not that I don’t want our government to have money. Money goes in, money goes out. But if they want revenue, it’s not going to come from me. You can’t tax achievement otherwise all we’d have are underachievers. Like the folks in my audience that aren’t millionaires who are watching this show right now while looking up from their scratch-off tickets at the local liquor store. Okay, I guess that’s most of you. But if you tax the achievers, they’ll pack it in. Stop achieving altogether. And I may just pack it in if Obama raises my taxes. But even after I’ve decided to stop achieving, I’ll still be achieving by ruining the livelihoods of my entire staff. Which again, makes me an overachiever even when I’ve stopped achieving. I guess I just operate on a higher level. I can’t explain that.”
Even though Obama’s tax plan has yet to be implemented, upon hearing the news of O’Reilly’s threat, millions of Americans** who don’t like their news delivered with a heaping side of emotional manipulation strictly for financial gain due to case of megalomania, were already fantasizing about sending him plenty of boxes to clean out his office.
*Really just hot air.
**Including Keith Olbermann, who we hear has already caught a cab and is half-way to the Fox studio.
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