Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Land-O-Lakes Butter Maiden SLAMS Paula Deen

Somewhere in Minnesota – Things just get worse and worse for celebrity chef Paula Deen since her recent admission of her diabetes diagnosis and endorsement deal with her treatment drug maker Novo Nordisk.  First her fellow Food Network colleagues refused to comment on the subject or speak to her and now the American Indian maiden who is the Land-O-Lakes Butter model has slammed her publicly due to their plummeting sales.

The maiden, often referred to as Boobs that Look Like Knees, told us, “Ever since Paula admitted she has to change her diet our sales have dipped considerably.  The average American who likes to eat an entire stick of butter at every meal KNOWS they are never going to get a lucrative endorsement deal with a big pharmaceutical to make up for going blind or having a foot removed, so they’ve just gone ahead and already taken our product off their table.  Cookie Monster could have had that drug endorsement deal YEARS ago, but he has standards and knew it was important to protect the Sesame Street brand.  No wonder nobody at her network wants to speak to her.  I get a royalty check for every box of butter sold.  It’s not like I’m part owner of a casino and can get extra income that way.  That’s just a Native American stereotype and F.U. for even thinking that.  If that bitch Paula really wants to do damage control for me I suggest she head to her local Winn-Dixie, Sharpie marker in hand, and start changing the labels on tubs of I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter to I Can’t Believe it’s Butt Hair.”

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