This Week in Lying Tabloids: John Travolta

Naturally, Royale with Cheese (John Travolta) is all over the tabloids this week.  The star, accused of groping several masseurs, is now insisting he was just researching his next role as a "bear." Unfortunately, Unsolicited Drivel has learned exclusively that the actor was confused. Travolta hadn't spoken to his agent since being told the title of the project, The Bear, and just assumed the title character was a burly homosexual in need of manscaping.  In reality, Travolta's people confirmed for us that the movie was about and actual bear that they planned for John to fight to the death like Liam Neeson did with wolves in The Grey.  Oops!!