Monday, October 1, 2012

Lindsay Lohan to Dr. Phil: You Didn’t Understand My Mom at All!

BFFs peeps!
New York, NY – One-time actress and legging designer (WTF?) Lindsay Lohan has complained that Dr. Phil has taken advantage of her mother, Dina, even going so far to say the therapist (who got his degree by mailing in a box top off of a box of Lucky Charms) was even “meanful.” Slurring further, "I KNOW mean girls when I see them!"  Which is kind of odd remark to make because we thought Phil was a dude.

Dina Lohan recently made an appearance on the talk show host’s program and appeared wobbly and disoriented leaving most of America to think, “I’ll have what she’s taking.”

In an exclusive interview with Unsolicited Drivel, la Linds to told us, “Dr. Phil the pill just didn’t get my mom at all.  That whole interview was a performance art piece where she was really auditioning to play me in my life story, which they’ll probably make a movie of on Lifetime Network shortly after I turn 27.  Mom is perfect to play me because she now looks more like me than I do myself.  Well, she looks younger than I do anyway.  Gee, that Botox shit’s a-fucking-amazing.”

In other Lindsay Lohan related news, Christian La Bella, a congressional aide for a GOP Rep from the great state of Illinois, was recently arrested for assaulting Lindsay in NYC after a night of nearly not enough shooters.  The charges were later dropped, as Lohan didn’t require medical attention.  Therefore, just like most of his colleagues on Capitol Hill, La Bella is also incompetent.

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