Red Cross to Mitt Romney: Cram Your Creamed Corn

U.S.of A. - While NJ Governor Chris Christie was pressing the flesh with President Obama (after he stopped causing the storm surge during hurricane Sandy by swimming), GOP Presidential hopeful and FEMA hater Mitt Romney was quickly devising a plan to save storm victims with a food drive…which kind of (allegedly) made the folks at  Red Cross want to choke on a corn dog.

An insider at the disaster relief organization anonymously told Unsolicited Drivel, "Uh, we know Mitt's never had to use our compassionate services as he can probably just ride out any storm in his car elevator, but we need financial donations to put the money exactly where it needs to go.  Be it maintaining shelters, feeding people too, but we decide where the money goes based upon urgent needs.  We accepted his truck full of peas and creamed corn just to be nice, but we wouldn't accept the horsehair blankets he had made out of Rafalca after he failed to medal in dressage in the London Olympics.  We love people as much as animals in our organization and in fact, ALL of Mr. Romney's ideas seem inhumane to us.  We don't need the magic Mormon underwear he offered for the victims either.  Perhaps Mr. Romney should not visit the hurricane victims today and just stay home, nice and warm, in one of his many, many houses and stick to handing out $100,000 bars to trick-or treaters tonight? That would be a nice change for him instead of handing out pink slips.  Thanks for letting me vent, U.D.  Dealing with these blowhard politicians after a natural disaster can be dealing like barnyard animals with their heads cut off!"