Area Woman Decides to Become Lobbyist to Honor Presidents Day

Poke me with a fork...

Washington, DC – An area woman who has decided to give up doing anything for the spiritual good, threw in the Sham-Wow™ for Presidents Day and decided to become a lobbyist.

Linda Black told Unsolicited Drivel exclusively, "I haven’t been able to do anything to serve my country with writing, marketing, graphic art or as an under cover protester around racists and bigots. I’m about 10 years older than I actually look and if I don’t get to K-Street soon it might be too late for me. You know, K Street in DC? The street that runs the entire country via evil, multinational, soulless corporations? Right next to where we keep the ‘Occupy Hipster People’ in  McPherson Square? Anyway I’m too much of a chickenhawk to go to Afghanistan, then come home and be one of the jobless. So big drug companies, here I come! This time in person!! They tell me that one president dude, Warren G. Harofhearing would have wanted it that way.”