Couple is Really Glad They Didn’t Turn Out to Be Murderous Dirt-Bags

Baltimore, MD – This Valentine’s Day, an area couple confessed to each other that they were really quite thankful and relieved that they were not becoming the increasingly prevalent spouse-murdering types as seen on TV news magazine shows. Linda White remarked to her husband Kevin, “You know, I’m really glad you don’t suffer from narcissism bordering on megalomania with a deep-seated hatred of your overbearing mother, causing you to smack your cheerleader girlfriends in high school, and then in adulthood, murder a spouse because you feel trapped, emotionally stunted, with the only escape being by collecting loads of insurance money by her untimely death, and assuming a fake identity and fleeing to live in the Cayman Islands.” Kevin concurred, “I’m really glad you aren’t an insecure, faded beauty queen southern belle, hell bent on making me suffer through a slow, torturous, medically hard to diagnose death, through arsenic or ricin poisoning in tapioca pudding perhaps, also to collect insurance money for astronomical credit card debt from compulsive shopping, but really, because big daddy didn’t pay enough attention to you even after you were crowned Ms. Magnolia Bud. Uh, Blossom.” Linda replied, “You know, that’s just another one of those things that I soooo love about us!”