Disappointed People Everywhere to Naomi: Get in Line Bitch

Chicago - Still fabulously gorgeous even approaching 40, l’enfant terrible, Naomi Campbell, appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show to discuss her anger management issues yesterday.

The supermodel and domestic servant abuser wanted to make one thing clear: she has NEVER had a jewel-encrusted Blackberry.  That would cause superfluous abrasions when a simple gash would suffice.  Uh, no really, she never meant to hurt anyone.  It’s just that from time to time, people she was brave enough to let into her life to pick up her dry cleaning or scrape her up off the pavement outside of nightclubs have LET HER DOWN.  Big time.  Despite her probably never lacking company, she also has abandonment issues, as her loved ones early on weren’t astute enough to realize she could be their meal ticket for life.

One irritated viewer of Oprah’s show commented, “Wow!  I would never have thought that Oprah could have a guest more out of touch with reality than that Edwards ho, and she managed to do it all in the course of one week.  News flash Naomi: if you let anyone into your life, there is the possibility that they could disappoint you - even if it was not their intent.  The way I see it, the only thing that biotch should be disappointed about is if somebody confuses her with Tyra Banks.”