Safety is NO Accident: MMS Director Resigns

Chris Oinks, or ah, Chris Oynes, a gift that kept on giving from the Bush administration, has resigned.  After doing a heckuva job, Oynes resigned from overseeing the offshore energy industry at the Mineral Management Service.

His agency is now blamed for some severe lax safety oversights and neglecting an inspection that could have prevented the BP oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico.

Oynes is resigning after a 35-year career of service, now to be quickly forgotten by a photo of him presenting the owners of the Deepwater Horizon oil-rig, Transocean, soon to be renamed “Tar-Ocean,” a safety award. The news of the resignation of Oynes comes as tar balls begin to wash up on the shores of Key West, in stark contrast to the type of balls the vacation paradise is accustomed to and typically welcomes. 

There is much speculation about what Oynes will do upon his resignation once he will no longer be regulating (or imbibing?) the offshore oil industry.  Energy experts claim the coal industry would always be happy to find a place for him.