Drill Baby, Spill

Washington, DC – White House advisors acknowledged today that the ginormous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico could maybe force the president to reconsider opening coastal areas to drilling and sea-creaturecide.  But, they also suggested that no immediate revisions of policy would be discussed (while they are still trying to figure out how to best bitch-slap Wall Street into submission).

Key members of Obama’s energy, homeland security and press team emphasized the need to focus on this incident of “national significance,” and indicated that BP, the oil company responsible, will be held accountable for cleaning up the spill.

Questions remain, however, if the White House is secretly harboring serious doubts about their offshore drilling decision. Those skeptical of the offshore drilling suggest that the easiest solution to the environmental conundrum it presents would be to harness the wind-power of the critics of the Obama administration who are tirelessly blowing enough misinformation via hot air to make up for the deficiency in the energy supply. They suggest the best start would be by setting up turbines in the studios of Fox News, or even Rush Limbaugh's radio show alone might suffice.  And, when scientists finally develop a way to run engines on bile, we won't even need the wind turbines.