Scientists Celebrate 50th Anniversary of Avoiding Developing Male Contraceptives

When the pill came on the market in 1960, women were finally able to take charge of their bodies in avoiding pregnancy without having to avoid the type of (smart women/foolish choice) guys who consistently “forgot” condoms.

Fifty years later, after experiencing side effects including: headaches, bloating, irritability, wanting to murder irritable co-workers, the occasional stroke due to a blood clot, no longer wanting to stroke themselves, blurred vision, blurred sense of reality, fearing a house would fall on them if they went outside during a storm and losing interest in sex altogether due to depression, women are divorcing those guys and still wondering why there has been no significant development in a male contraceptive to make their lives carefree for once?

One scientist offered this explanation, “the joke has been for the last 40 years that the male pill is only 10 years away. If we are seriously going to develop a pill for men that will cause spam offers to show up in somebody’s hotmail, it’s much more likely to be a pill that gives you a non-stop boner than one that will incite class-action lawsuits because it dissolved your reproductive parts or something. The reasoning behind that is even if we are successful developing a male ‘pill,’ the men still have to be trusted to remember to take it. So, we would have to develop pill packaging that was essentially a 3G that included an alarm clock with a web-cam so their partners could view them swallowing it live, and pharmaceutical costs are already high enough as it is.”