President Obama will be speaking tonight to the nation. The topic of his speech, titled "Crap Strategy," (in the recent tradition of naming failed disaster control measures with two stupid sounding words), will be the BP oil spill currently flooding the Gulf of Mexico with somewhere between 1 ounce of oil (BP estimate) and a hillion billion jillion gallons (anyone who is watching the online webcam of the spill estimates) per day. The president is expected to take ownership of the problem, stating, "BP owns this problem" while frowning directly into the camera. In addition, the president is expected to insist that BP create an escrow account, to be used for cleaning up crows and other birds who get dingy from the spill. The account would also help pay damages to those southern dingbats who are out of employment and who always vote for Republicans (who deregulate industries like big oil) and so kind of deserve what they get when shit like this happens to them.
We caught up with Vern LaVerne, and his wife Laverne LaVerne-Werner, Louisiana shrimpers from way back, who said "That damned Socialist better give us our money, and don't get in the way of our medical benefits nor our freedom to be poor and ignorant neither."
1 comments so far :
You tell um Maw and Paw!!!!
Post a Comment