Osama in Iran??

George W. Bush may have never been able to tie Iran to the 911™ attacks, but intelligence sources are claiming that’s exactly where Osama bin Laden's been hiding for the last five years in a mountainous region near Turkey. It is believed he is hanging his turban in the town of Sabzevar, which, no big surprise, is not easy to access except by mule and does not have wi-fi or even cable.  It does at least have a Baba Ganoush Bell though, with a camel-friendly drive-through.  Like we care?

The source claims that Turkey is well aware that bin Laden and his latest right hand man Ayman al-Zawahiri and probably at least five others high up in the al Quaeda food chain have been living under Tehran’s protection.

If this is true, Americans who have been led to believe Osama was hiding along the Afghanistan/Pakistan border for the last eight years might think our government has plenty of explaining to do.

We asked one disgruntled Federal government employee and he offered, “well, it’s all about branding you know. I suppose we could say that the last five years in Afghanistan were all about controlling the poppy farmers and the heroin trade in the war on drugs…but we aren’t even winning that war at home, and I’m not sure when the war in Afghanistan ever worked.  Plus, heroin production has increased since we invaded.  In any case, I bet by the time the mainstream media takes their heads out of Sarah Palin’s ass long enough to pick up on this, I’m sure the Pentagon will have figured out an angle.”