Yes, we neglected to bring you the story of the chain-smoking baby. Hey, he didn’t inhale. Unless the baby was Bill Clinton’s lovechild, where’s the story? Also, we neglected to bring you the story of beer drinking baby. Give us a break – the baby was a Phillies fan! And, it was a Lite beer.
So it is with careful consideration that we bring you the story of Ya Wen – the smoking, drinking, cross-dressing baby.
Ya Wen is a 3-year old Chinese toddler who has become mysteriously addicted to adult vices after suffering a car crash. Her mother tells us she was hit by a speeding van last year and hospitalized for about a week.
Not long after she woke up after the accident, her mother found her secretly sneaking cigarettes from her father and even running up a tab for smokes at the Chinese version of 7-11. Lately, she has taken a shine to drinking beer and dressing up as a boy and cries uncontrollably if these preferences are denied.
We asked a family friend for his take on the transformation and he told us, “well, whenever one has a brush with death it’s likely to change a person’s perspective. Obviously, she’s trying to live life to the fullest by smoking and drinking herself into an early grave ironically enough. But we’re not really sure where the cross-dressing angle comes from. Some believe that Ya Wen may have heard that Angelina Jolie might be filming her next project in China and was hoping for a play date with Shiloh.
1 comments so far :
In addition to smoking, cross-dressing and drinking, my baby does drive-by-shootings, installation art, right-wing-hate radio, problem flatulence, cat wrangling, and underdressed runway walks. My baby is better than your baby.
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