Sleeping Under the Stars Instead of Hanging Out in Bars: It’s Camping Season Again!

U.S. of A. – Summer’s just around the corner so it’s time to start to consider sleeping under stars that don’t come with their own slag-worshipping entourage. Yes, we mean going camping! To help guide you along on your wilderness adventure, we have assembled this handy checklist just for Unsolicited Drivel readers.  We believe these are essentials for having a  good time while getting to know Mother Nature. We raked over the red-hot burning embers that are the recesses of our minds to assemble this list and here are the interesting items we’ve chosen for you to not leave home without.

CAMPING CHECKLIST SUMMER 2010:


Gimme Shelter:
Tent or air-conditioned trailer with Blue Ray and plasma screen TV
Air Mattress or Tempurpedic Sleep System™
Tarp or Biosphere
Tarp stakes, rope or faux serial killer kit to dissuade neighborly advances

Cooking Good:
Large Ice Bucket/Grey Goose (or for the budget conscious, UV)
Carry-On Calphalon
Entire stump of Mesquite tree stolen from Texas for barbequed Bigfoot recipe we forgot to download from Epicurious
Bigfoot leghold trap
Matches/lighter/blowtorch or abducted creepy neighborhood kid rumored to be a firestarter/NY Post
Plates, bowls, utensils, tablecloth, artfully designed centerpiece made of berries/twigs
Mixing bowl
Mixed nuts (yes, it’s okay to include others if they’re friends!)


Personal Items:
Flip Flops/ First aid kit to repair flip flop mishaps
Towels/Washcloth/Biodegradable cruelty-free soap on a rope made of dope (hemp)
Hat/Hathead
Comb/brush with death
5 Gallon puke bucket (monogrammed)
Rain gear or life-size condom
Toilet paper/NY Post


Miscellaneous:
Bug repellent or 40 pet barn bats
Pocket knife or chainsaw
Binoculars or rifle scope
Duct tape
Camera/Battery/film/video crew
Marshmallows, Heather Graham crackers, Hershey bars