It’s Derby Day!

Louisville, KY – A true harbinger of spring every year is the “Run for the Roses.”   Yes, it’s time for the 136th Kentucky Derby already, as it’s the first Saturday in May.  Get out your fabulous hat and try and choke down some burgoo on top of a belly full of bourbon and wonder how to get puke off of a seersucker suit.  Rain is predicted today as being almost a certainty, and spectators wearing “Crocs” instead of stilettos or tasseled loafers will be barred from the event.

The Kentucky Derby is the first horse race of the famed “Triple Crown,” leading us to false hopes of having a winner of the Triple Crown, until the horse loses interest for the 33rd year in a row at “The Preakness,” or later can’t take the additional mileage at the “Belmont Stakes.”  It takes place at Churchill Downs, and is known in the United States as “The most exciting and fastest two minutes in sports that we forget to watch as we were waiting in line for the porta-potty in the infield after binge drinking all day.”

Early favorites this year at the race included one horse that has a name like an Icelandic Volcano, Eskendereya, but he either had an ankle injury, or inhaled to much volcanic ash last Sunday.  We’re not really sure which.  Other favorites include Lookin’ at Lucky Charms, 3-1, and Love, Sidney’s Candy, 5-1.  Horses also in the running that could surprise are: Lightening Leroy, Super Sucker, Dirt Devil May Care, Soggy Bottom (a mudder) and Mission Unwinable.