“Bizarre” Leprechaun Rampage Rocks Strip Mall

Boulder, CO - If it wasn’t bad enough that a vampire caused a woman to crash her car earlier this week, now police say they have responded to reports of a tiny man leaping between cars in a Colorado supermarket lot creating a stir.

The police sergeant on duty claimed he didn’t need a detailed description of the suspect, but witnesses reported a man who looked like a leprechaun was possibly making obscene gestures, pretending to shoot people his fingers, acted nothing like a typical leprechaun and was genuinely bizarre.

One witness told police, “It was clear right away that if you approached him he had absolutely no intention of granting you three wishes.  He didn’t seem to have the hand/eye coordination to cobble a pair of shoes to save his life either.  Also, I didn’t see any gold pieces or marshmallow treats anywhere in sight.  His whole demeanor was just plain off when it comes to the general behavior that we’ve come to expect from fairies.  I think if he had had a Shillelagh, he wouldn't have been afraid to use it on the shoppers."