The Cocaine Wasn’t Paris Hilton’s - Part II

Las Vegas – Michael Boychuck, the hair stylist who made Paris Hilton look like the character Titania from A Midsummer Nights Dream (except she looked to be flying higher than any fairie) before her arrest last weekend, has come forward to defend the socialite on the cocaine allegations police are charging her with.

The stylist to the stars told Unsolicited Drivel, “Paris has been texting me since the arrest and I feel really bad about what happened to her.  I think everybody should know that she doesn’t do drugs because she has no time for that.  Her day is full from the moment she wakes up until she falls asleep with her being consumed with coming up with strategies to shamelessly self-promote herself.  Plus, a cocaine hangover typically causes something I would label as ‘cement head,’ and Paris has enough challenges from the neck up as it is.  She also couldn’t test any of her perfumes in development if she did coke, as it would mess too much with her sense of smell and she wouldn’t be able to tell if the new product was close enough to mimic the scent of over privileged skank out partying until 5 am. Oh, wait!  She just texted me back.  She’s working on a new handbag design! Something about it haven hidden pockets. ”