Nigeria to Charge Dick Cheney in Bribery Case

Despite having all of the charm of a war criminal (but without the official title and much less warmth) and being able to walk around freely at home in the U.S., a foreign country, Nigeria, has decided that former Vice President Dick Cheney needs to be called on his dirty dealings.  Yes, NIGERIA is taking action against the evil overlord while the Obama Administration is busy sweeping the Bush’s torture track record under the carpet and chasing around the ghostly-looking Wikileaks guy like a phantom menace.

Nigerian officials say that they plan to charge Cheney in a $180 million bribery scandal involving Halliburton, the company Cheney ran prior to becoming Vice President of the United States.

Halliburton, purveyor of everything needed to cause worldwide destruction (including faulty BP oil-rig cement), is on the Nigeria’s arrest warrant short list along with Saipem, Technip and a former subsidiary of Panalpina Welttransport Holding AG in connection with bribing Nigerian officials to let them win contracts to perform their diabolical deeds.

Unsolicited Drivel was unable to get a comment from Cheney’s spokesperson.  Perhaps he was shot in the face as a precautionary measure after the news of the scandal broke last evening. Still we wonder how Halliburton had $180 million just laying around to toss at corrupt foreign officials in a cash-strapped nation?  That’s a pretty big slush fund.  Perhaps they stole the money from all of the Nigerian princes that keep emailing us while being incarcerated - those guys that are hoping for a loan to get them back on their feet?  Nah, it’s probably just because Halliburton is PURE evil.  Evil makes money where there should be none.