Alabama Has a Beef With Taco Bell

Montgomery – If the beloved “Where’s the Beef?” lady was still alive today, it would not have taken this long for an Alabama law firm to file a class action suit against Taco Bell for false advertising.

The law firm of Beasley, Allen, Crow, Methvin, Portis & Miles filed suit against the fast food giant disputing their claims of using "seasoned ground beef" or "seasoned beef" in their made-up, Mexican-like meals.  The attorneys insist that the product tested contained less than 35% beef, below the acceptable level required by the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

It is unclear exactly what fillers make up the other 65% of Taco Bell’s “meat mixture” and samples have been sent to a lab expert in identifying toxic waste and/or things that fell to Earth from outer space for analysis.

A spokesperson for Taco Bell told Unsolicited Drivel, "Taco Bell prides itself on serving quality, Mexicanish food.  This is turning into a public relations nightmare and it has all been a misunderstanding.  The person who does the purchasing for our restaurant supplies is hard of hearing, and accidentally purchased ground beets.  Honest mistake.  Yeah, that’s it.  At least that explanation will make Peta happy. They’re still pissed off from hearing that rumor about us serving Chihuahua Chimichangas.”