Ghost of Reagan Admits Afterlife Alzheimer’s is Not Too Bad

Undisclosed Location – The ghost of the 40th President of the United States, Ronald Reagan, admitted today that carrying over his affliction of Alzheimer’s disease into the afterlife maybe hasn’t been all that bad.

Speaking through wife Nancy’s Ouija board he said, “Just as the memory lapses came in handy in real life to dismiss various unpleasantness during my administration, it still comes in handy in the afterlife.  I know what you’re thinking,  ‘don’t you get cured of your affliction once you get to Heaven?’ Well, I’ll have to get back on to you on that.  Anyway, my son Ronnie Jr. has sent me a message via Mommy claiming that some soap opera actress, Sarah Palin, has been running around reciting my quotes and doing a really lousy job.  I’m told that due to my 100th birthday on Sunday, the bitch will be pretty much everywhere this weekend, spouting off like she actually understood my policies.  How can you secretly provide weaponry to violent drug-running rebels and snuggle up to unconscionable dictators when you can’t even find their countries on a map?  Plus, she’s a terrible actress and so is her doppelganger, what’s her name again?  Oh, yes, Michele Bachmann.  I’ve seen more convincing and sincere performances coming out of Bonzo’s ass.  But then again, I'll be able to forget their craptastic acting almost as I'm watching them.  I’m sorry, but I’ve really got to run. Nixon won’t stop bitching that he still needs a partner for Bridge against Pol Pot.  Go Packers!!”

This is GREAT. A caller who actually paid attention during the 80s has Limbaugh stumbling over the greatness of the Gipper.