Earthquakes Make Myanmar Kind of Regret Name Change

The country of Myanmar was struck by not one, but two 7.0 magnitude earthquakes last night, leaving it to hope that the people who might aid them realize that they are the same country as Burma.

The shock from the quakes could be as felt as far away as Bangkok, which everybody knows is in Thailand, but not a lot of people know Myanmar, unless they remember that episode of “Seinfeld” when Elaine’s boss J. Peterman flipped out and fled to the south east Asian country.

One local resident in the rural area where the quakes struck complained, “It wasn’t strong enough to trigger a tsunami like earlier this month in Japan, so I don’t believe we’ll receive as much aid and worldwide compassion.  But even more concerning is the name change of our country.  Some people, like you generous Americans,  don’t even realize the change ever took place, and Myanmar doesn’t exactly just roll off the tongue.  But people know the city of Rangoon, so just pretend we’re the country that gave you the appetizer Crab Rangoon and pull out your wallets already.  Just don’t try and order it in a restaurant if you ever come over here.  Speaking of here, another issue is that a lot Americans who might send us aid probably don’t even know where we are.  For the record, we’re right between India and China.  So for your purposes,  just picture a country that could be half tech support, and half cheaply manufactured plastic crap."