A congressional aide told Unsolicited Drivel, “We’re finally realizing that we probably can’t touch Medicare to balance the budget. You’d think we would have caught on to that notion when somebody threw a bottle of Ensure through Paul Ryan’s office window on the Hill, but sometimes we’re a little slow. So we’d like to gut Medicaid instead. But that’s still a problem, as once seniors go into nursing homes they switch to Medicaid and seniors are still one of the biggest voting blocks. It’s pretty much usually seniors and disaffected hippies that show up to the polls. We could screw with the system so that their absentee ballots get 'lost in the mail*' and don’t show up at the nursing homes, but seniors are also among the most vocal groups and what else have they got to do but complain all day? It’s kind of an extreme, ‘out there’ idea, but as Republicans and Democrats will never work together like adults, we thought if we could breed poor people out of the gene pool, we could create a master race of the well to do and wouldn’t need to work together anymore. The myth that poor people are poor because they are lazy is just that – a myth. This current recession has proven it. So it’s very likely the poor have a different genetic make-up and we’d like to commission a study to confirm that. They are missing the gene for greed at the very least. You don’t have to be a scientist to figure that out.”
*Karl Rove already has a plan for this.
1 comments so far :
I'd like to snatch those pennies, would pay for my next tanning session.
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