Traverse City, MI – Some area trolls emailed a plea today to Material Girl Madonna via her website to come to her brother's rescue and get him the hell out from under their bridge.
Anthony Ciccone, the brother who was not smart enough to exploit his successful sibling with a tell-all book, recently reported that he’s been homeless for a year and a half since being fired from their father’s winery and living under a unnamed bridge.
Calling Anthony “the worst thing to happen to trolls since haters on the Internet adopted our name and used that crude cartoon to depict us,” the trolls were adamant that they want him OUT from under their bridge as soon as possible.
A spokesperson for the troll tribe added further, “It’s not because Anthony doesn’t pull his weight in the community. He brings home plenty of vermin and the occasional Billy goat to plop in the cauldron. It’s just his sister’s music. If we have to hear him sing one more chorus of Pappa Don’t Preach, we’re going to have to eat him. Fast. And he’s kind of grown on us. Anthony truly is the worst thing to happen to the troll population since social networking on-line. We don’t hate people because we don’t understand them like those cowards on the Internet, we just hate Madonna’s music. Shine a ray of light on that. Some of trolls in the tribe don’t understand why his multi-millionaire sister doesn’t step up to avoid embarrassment like Jackie O. did when her relatives went all Grey Gardens on her. But if you’ve seen Madonna act in movies, it’s clear that she’s incapable of ever feeling embarrassment. I guess that explains it then.”
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