Sunday, April 1, 2012

Keith Olbermann to Take Over Oprah’s Failing Network

Chicago – Hot off the heel that booted him off Current TV last week, rumors are flying that irascible pundit Keith Olbermann is in talks to take over Oprah Winfrey’s failing OWN cable network.

Olbermann was spotted in the Windy City over the weekend dining with Winfrey and feeding her deep-dish pizza like a scene out of Lady and the Tramp, leading many media analysts to believe the takeover is already a done deal.

A former co-worker of Olbermann’s at Current TV told Unsolicited Drivel, “Keith had been planning on leaving Current way before Al Gore booted him.  His desk was too close to the printer and he always got stuck clearing the paper jams or changing the toner.  He also claimed the toner was poisoning his brain whenever there was a Republican debate or primary to cover.  Keith had friended Oprah on Facebook as far back as October and as they are both narcissists, they got really tight.  Keith had one stipulation in the deal to buy OWN and that was that she let him change the network’s name to ME.  In fact, I heard his new show is going to be called, But Enough About Me, What Do the Rest of You Progressives Think About Me?  Keith taking over the network may also be good news for the recently fired Rosie O’Donnell as they are so close in their political views. Although I’m told Keith balked a bit when Rosie told him she’d never wear Spanx again and she’d like to do her new talk show dressed as Che Guevara.” 

1 comments so far :

Dawnald said...

He could get Rosie O'D to be his sidekick. I hear she's available.

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