Friday, November 16, 2012

Jenners Continue to Not Deny Impending Divorce

Happily Never After?
Brentwood, CA -  Keeping Up With The Kardashians stars Bruce and Kris Jenner continue to remain silent about rumors of their inevitable divorce despite the fact that every couple who has ever appeared on a reality TV show has inevitably divorced, dating all the way back to the Louds on the the original reality TV series An American Family in the 70s.  Yes, EVERY couple.  Google it.

Self-proclaimed expert on evweything, Barbara Walters, believes the rumor about trouble in paradise for the stage mom on steroids and the former Olympic great are twue, because of the couple's silence on the subject.

We at Unsolicited Drivel have brainwashed ourselves into believing anything Barbara says because she was the first female broadcaster to demand equal pay for equal work.  Be that as it may, we needed to get the inside scoop for ourselves.  A so-called "family friend" of the K. Klan told us:

"Well, it's not like Bruce is uncomfortable being under the spotlight.  He's been in the spotlight for some time and not just on a plastic surgeon's table.  And Kris has finally stopped bragging to him about how she used to bang O.J. Simpson when she was pretending to befriend Nicole.  No need to verbalize it, there's a sex tape.  Kato Kaelin filmed it in exchange for a Big Mac.  I think Bruce is just tired of being Kris' man servant.  Speaking of sex tapes, I heard he had to function as 'Best Boy' in the production of Kim's.  Some of the other unpleasantness he's been subjected to include waxing Khole's back hair, bitch-slapping Kourtney's baby daddy that entitled little prick Scott Disick when he gets too smug and he also had to sign an agreement to sell Kendall and Kylie into white slavery should their reality show ever be cancelled.  So my guess is it's time for Bruce to lawyer up!"

1 comments so far :

Kato said...

Hey, I would work on that video for less than two Big Macs and a Happy Meal. I needed a Happy meal. That bitch was irritating.

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