Carly Fiorina Updated Her Resume!

It's already on LinkedIn!

Carnival Barker - Trump

GOP 2016 Hopeful Rand Paul Has Issues...

This one goes out to Baltimore, Kentucky and the U.S. of A!

March Against Monsanto - Baltimore County, Maryland

I was against Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs), which is to say food that has been genetically altered to make it more transportable, less perishable, less flavorful, more deadly, and more colorful, as well as to make it hum, whistle, and lick its lips when you walk by it in the grocery aisle. Monsanto Corporation is the Evil Mega Corporate Villain (Monsanto is a Belgian word meaning “Evil Mega Corporate Villain”) that is lobbying the US government to prevent food manufacturers from putting labels on foods which have been genetically modified, because they correctly assume that consumers would avoid their products like they were radioactive if they knew.

The protest was in Hunt Valley, Maryland, which is on the outskirts of Baltimore. About 40 people, including me and the missus, stood on the side of the entrance road to a local mall and waved our signs at drivers, who honked if they liked us.  Best protest chant IMO: “We want real food, not from a test tube!” Best sign IMO: “Oh No, GMO!”. At one point a bee became fascinated with me, so I had to wave my sign at him to avoid him. I later picked up a “Bring back the bees!” sign to compensate my Karma. Some protest signs had lots of words on them, I think these were ignored by the drivers, who were too busy driving to the mall grocery store to get their glow-in-the-dark roast chicken-potatoes*.

Posted by: Gman
Photos by: Drivel Lady: See our slideshow here

*GMOs are BANNED in Europe. They don't want their children to grow up to be mutants.

He's to Pope Francis! Person of the Year!!

Take THAT, Palin.  Caribou Barbie with only be on the cover of Time when she FAILS. AGAIN.

When Did Stupid Hicks Take Over Our Shores?

As a city girl, I must have missed that.

Bye, Bye, Benny...

It's up to Satan now!

When Ed Met Karl

This is my friend Ed. Ed is VERY patient with me because he's just that kind of guy. So I bought him a toy for being the second guy I've met who could ever stand me. I told him, "Ed, this is Karl, your new friend. As he is an elephant I thought it would be nice to name him Mr. Rove." Well, after a long night wild squeaks I wake up to find Karl missing a tail and maybe his spleen too. I need a tune-up on my Lab love.

New Papal Plans?

GOP Goes Whole Hog; Replaces Karl Rove With Dr. Evil

Mini-me will be my "Grover!"

Washington, DC, D Street, Capitol South – A meeting was held at the Republican National Committee today to decide once and for all to replace campaign strategist Karl Rove with Dr. Evil and just get it over with.

Speaking after a pitcher of Margaritas from Tortilla Coast, a GOP spokesperson told Unsolicited Drivel, “We can’t even win elections by rigging votes! What’s is going to take to get the point across to America how evil we are? Only rich white guys and poor people vote for us now, and poor people only vote for us if the they are undereducated and we don’t even want to fund schools.  What kind of crazy ass mixed up shit is that? So we think poor people must really like evil, correct?  Karl has given us his best effort, but he looks too tame.  Plus we were hoping he and Grover Norquist would do a ‘Thelma and Louise’ after the 2012.  So much for that.  Anyway, since we will no longer be providing the poor any ‘edumacation’ if we have our way, we just thought Dr. Evil would send our message to them loud and clear.  He doesn’t even have to open his mouth. Which Karl probably should not have done after the election on Fox News.”

HBO Didn’t Mean to Impale Dubya

Los Angeles – Executives at the network where actors first could say “f*ck,” HBO, are apologizing this week for using a likeness of former President George W. Bush in a beheading scene in its popular series Game of Thrones.

Bush’s head was first spotted by people not doing the work they are paid for on the site Reddit.com and has since almost gone viral among Internet slackers. Uh, we mean users.

A spokesperson for the cable network told Unsolicited Drivel, “We had to use whatever heads we had sitting around gathering dust in the special effects warehouse. Really. Why leave a perfectly good empty head around gathering dust when it could be splattered with blood? It was totally NOT a political statement. I KNOW what you are thinking. Oh, the irony! Because Bush likes to invade countries where they still are fond of cutting off your head while thinking he can bomb them back to the Stone Age, when in the case of, say, Afghanistan, they never left the Stone Age to begin with. But that’s not the case. If we had had a Kardashian or a Lohan head lying around, we certainly would have used that in the same scene. Besides, if we had wanted to make a political statement about the senseless murder of defenseless civilians all in order to line the pockets of our evil corporate cronies, we would have gone with a Dick Cheney head.”

Rebekah Brooks Charged in Phone Hacking Case!

London - Rebekah Brooks, the evil ginger of tabloid journalism, has just been charged with perverting justice in phone hacking case that will hopefully topple evil overlord Rupert Murdoch's media empire. Brooks was at the helm of the now defunct News of the World when their alleged illegal wire-tapping occurred between 2000-2003.

Should Brooks somehow escape jail, we thought it was worth reposting this chart regarding what her future moves could be.

Dick Cheney's Original Heart Donor Didn't Quite Work Out

(Via Ted Rall)