Aziz Ansari's Name is Going to Break the Internet With Searches Today!

Daaayumn, Ashley Judd! Why Didn't You Follow Through on Taking OUT The Turtle??

Redditors Imagine If President Barack Obama Tweeted Like Donald Trump | The Huffington Post

Redditors Imagine If President Barack Obama Tweeted Like Donald Trump | The Huffington Post

These are pricelesss!

Man, Donald Trump Will Eat (Sell) Anything to Pander to the Ethnic Vote!

More Small Screen Sex and the City?

New York – Are Carrie Bradshaw and company headed back to the small screen?  Sources say yes!

An insider told Unsolicited Drivel, “Ultimately, it will depend if Darren Star, who created the original Sex and the City series, is on board. Sarah Jessica will produce.  Originally, she wasn’t ready to step back into Carrie’s Manolos, but all of that talk about a young, hot Blake Lively recreating the role in a movie prequel got her thinking about bringing the franchise back to the small screen.  Of course cable TV has gotten a lot edgier since the girls last walked the streets of New York.  They covered Samantha’s menopause in the last movie, but in the TV show they are leaning toward her pursuing becoming a vampire to halt the aging process once and for all and because vampires are so hot now.  Miranda will continue to be the happy, well-adjusted one like she was in the second movie, because they got tired of writing her as being a stark-raving bitch despite her having everything a woman could ever wish for in life.  After years of pining to be a stay-at home mom, Charlotte will have ended up sending her girls to boarding school in Switzerland due to their obsession with sexting and will go back to work by forming an event planning company with Anthony that specializes in gay divorce parties.  We won’t be having Carrie run into Aidan again to threaten her marriage to Big as we decided he died of an infection from a scorpion bite he got when it was hiding in a Persian rug he was trying to import.  Big will have lost nearly everything in the economic crash and will be reduced to appearing on Trump's The Apprentice to get his foot back in the door of the high finance world.   Oh, and speaking of feet -  Carrie, unable to find work as a superficial lifestyle writer, will be forced to go work in a shoe store to support them.”

Hypocrite Trump’s Hair Made in China!

New Yawk – While Donald Trump has been beating on China like a red gong this morning in the press due to their currency manipulation and their failure to take out Moammar Gadhafi while being Libyan oil hogs, we have discovered that like most politicians, he’s a complete hypocrite - because his hair was made in China!

As always, we feel it’s important to expose such hypocrisy amongst potential leaders of our country.  Also, we aren’t as confident as President Obama is that Americans will follow his advice to “not be distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers.”

A source inside the communist industrial giant country told us, “You may have already uncovered the fact that his Trump Signature Collection of suits and ties is made over here, and I’m happy to expose the truth about his hair too.  The hairpiece is not made by child labor as you might think either. Imprisoned Tibetan monks make it out of yak fur.   And the yak fur must be dyed with special saffron which many of the importers have died trying to supply while trekking over the Himalayas. The monks are only given a bowl of hot air on their lunch break between making new pieces too.  It’s a human rights nightmare all around. I’m sorry for your president Obama that he has to answer to a man like Mr. Trump in the press.  But if he wants a cheap supplier to manufacture a hat made out of his laminated birth certificate to get Trump to shut the hell up, I can totally hook him up.”

Raging Bullshit: Trump Slams DeNiro

New Yawk - Unsuccessful in his attempt to make Jerry Seinfeld his bitch in the media last week, faux presidential candidate Donald Trump has come out swinging against actor Robert DeNiro after the actor made remarks critical of him.

DeNiro, one of America’s greatest living actors (he and Dustin Hoffman could have a duel to settle who's best), made comments over the weekend at the start of his Tribeca Film Festival expressing his disgust at Trump jumping on the political "birther" bandwagon (crazy train).

King of comb-overs Trump fired back on this morning’s Fox and Friends stating, "Well he’s not the brightest bulb on the planet.  I’ve been watching him over the years and I like his acting, but you know in terms of when I watch him doing interviews and various other things, we’re not dealing with Albert Einstein."

Brightest bulb on the planet?  Is the planet now an electric lamp? Or did he mean, maybe, a tulip? Not likely.  And criticizing a fellow American’s intelligence is not exactly taking the high road.  Unless it’s criticizing Sarah Palin, which has quickly become a treasured national pastime. Regardless, we don’t believe it’s suitable behavior for a presidential candidate.

We asked one of our staffers, a former actor, for comment on Trump’s latest harangue.  She told us, “I’ve known actors who began acting as a way to overcome their natural shyness.  I’m guessing based upon the interviews I’ve seen with him that DeNiro falls into that category and I seriously doubt morons bring home Oscars.  Or revitalize neighborhoods and start their own film festivals there.   I give DeNiro credit for not just ripping off to @Trump on Twitter, ‘You want a piece of me?!?’ too.  Why is Trump picking fights with actors instead of other politicians anyway?  It’s not like America is going to decide their vote on based upon a rich f@!ker picking a fight with a star of the ‘Fockers’ franchise.  I wish Trump luck if he ever gets to the point where tries to plan a fundraiser in political campaign donor-heavy Hollywood.  He could probably have Gary Busey host it and hold it in a utility closet at the Beverly Hilton.”