Government Bans Texting Truckers and Blogging Bus Drivers

Washington, DC – The Transportation Department said today that it is now making it illegal for truck and bus drivers to send text messages while operating their commercial vehicles. “This makes perfect sense.  Safety is no accident.” stated a Trucking association president.  The prohibition will apply to all vehicles over 10,000 pounds, effective immediately, and could carry hefty criminal penalties if violated. Studies show the average person texting while driving lets their eyes leave the road for about five seconds, or driving the length of a football field.  The ban will NOT apply to any on board computer devices truckers use to exchange messages amongst each other, surf the internet, work as nighttime day traders, manage websites to rate greasy spoons nationwide, host live chats, watch  DVDs* or play Tetris. And, for the technologically challenged big rig drivers, the ban still does not prohibit cats cradle, yo-yos, shadow puppets, cootie catchers or even masturbation.

*Yes, we have seen a trucker do this.  For real.