Anna Nicole Sycophants Screwed Out of Serious Scratch

San Francisco - Hopefully, being totally hosed on reality TV paid well - really, really, well.  Before her untimely death of what’s become the trendy death du jour for celebrities (pneumonia with a narcotics chaser), no star shined brighter, but was simultaneously a dim bulb, than Anna Nicole Smith.  The former Playboy Playmate created quite a buzz over the years, with her various management-supplied buzzes throughout her brief life, while speaking gibberish from her own private Idaho before television cameras, but can you blame her? She married that really ancient, like 90-year-old dude, and supposedly had conjugal relations with him.  That’s a picture we wouldn’t be able to erase out our heads with all of the Oxy available in Hollywood.  You would think that just for kissing that dude on camera early in her self-invented career it should have entitled her a license to mail it in, even on crystal meth, for the rest of her public appearances and collect a huge payday to boot.  But, a federal appeals court ruled on Friday that is not the case!  Anna’s estate will get squat from the more than $300 million left behind by hubby Howard Marshall, ending a 15 year legal battle she quit two years ago, and leaving her heirs out in the cold!  E. Pierce Marshall, the hateful bastard son of Howard, who also became worm food in 2006, will still inherit the money.  That being said, we are now predicting either Dannilynne will be posing nude as soon as she can sprout a pair, or we can all look for a video sex tape of Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead coming to an internet site to download even sooner than that.  What a waste of being wasted!  Gold diggers everywhere are rethinking their career choices.