Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Did Madonna Step-Up for Convicted Malawi Gays?

BLANTYRE, Malawi — A judge convicted a gay male couple today for having an engagement ceremony and also to spread intolerance and slow down the fight against AIDS.

Despite international criticism for their policies, the Malawi government arrested Tiwonge Chimbalanga, a 20-year-old hotel janitor, and his unemployed partner Steven Monjeza, 26, the day after they celebrated their engagement with fabulously trendy floral arrangements, cutting-edge cuisine and various pop and show tunes at a reception at the hotel where Chimbalanga worked. The couple was later convicted in court of unnatural acts and gross indecency under laws dating back to the era when Leviticus roamed the Earth.

One courtroom homophobic observer remarked, “it’s kind of odd that the judge would consider sending them to prison a punishment considering the type of behavior guys engage in there, but since we typically force homosexuals into hiding anyway, outta sight, outta mind, and no need for soap on a rope, I guess.”

This afternoon, reports have just begun surfacing that fan of Malwai’s people, Madonna, may be offering their country’s government a way to save on the expense of the couple’s incarceration by adopting them to be back-up dancers for all of her future tours.  A person in her entourage remarked, “it would probably be the best solution for both parties - Madonna and the Malawi government.  It’s very likely that they already know how to dance pretty well, and a nice camaraderie could form between them and Madonna’s Malawian kids David and Mercy.  If the government doesn’t agree, I’m sure she will boycott adopting from them at all in the future and find some other backwards place to adopt from.  Maybe Arizona.”

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