Saturday, November 10, 2012

Skyfall: Movie Review

Bond Fall?
Let me get this out of the way first: smart phones have ruined going to the movies for me. Every time I go there is some asstard who has to check their messages three times or talk on the phone right in the middle of the movie, and for some reason they always sit in front of me. Suggestion for all: 1) go to a movie *or* 2) find out wassupp with your worthless "frenz," but *please* do not try to do both at the same time, lest you be killed by me or my wife with her hobo slayin' knife.

Let me get this out of the way second: this movie is better than Quantum of Solace, the worst Bond movie of all time (I have seen them all). But it also is maybe the weirdest Bond movie of all time. It does not follow the Bond formula of 1) a moo-hoo-ha-ha-rule-the-world-mini-me type villain, 2) Sex bomb Bond girls (there are girls, but they are not very sex-bomby). After some early action which is enjoyable (and which is all in the trailer), the movie goes into "espionage-mode," meaning that there's not a lot of action, but quite a lot of intrigue about MI6 (Bond's agency) possibly being compromised by some internal traitor. Eventually action does return, but if you're like me, you will take your shoes off, put your feet up on the chair in front of you, and nearly fall asleep until it does.

Ultimately, I enjoyed this movie, especially the socks-but-no-shoes-almost-fell-asleep part, but I caution Bond viewers: this is not the best one out there. It almost felt like it was a transitional movie, as in transitioning-away-from-the-stupid-Quantum-storyline-to-something-else-but-still-not-sure-what-that-something-else-is-going-to-be-so-keep-watchin-maybe-the-next-one-will-be-better-and-BTW-doesn't-this-remind-you-of-die-hard-SNL-fans-who-complain-about-dry-rot-years-but-somehow-never-give-up?

Javier Bardem (English name: Joe Creepy) is sufficiently creepy as the sorta-catholic-priesty-villain-if-you-know-what-I-mean baddie.

Posted by: GMan

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