It’s Over!

The divorce between Oscar winner Sandra Bullock and gear-head Jesse James is final.  Already. Sources say that Sandra filed on April 23rd in Texas stating the marriage had become “a sham of insurmountable proportions.” 

It’s no surprise that Sandra was able to keep the proceedings quiet, but we wondered how she was able to obtain the divorce so quickly.  One Travis County court clerk told us, “Well, technically, you only have to wait sixty days for the judge to hear your case and rule on it.  Of course, had she asked, the judge probably would have granted it as soon as she filed based upon the degree of Jesse’s dickishness.”

This is good news that America’s Sweetheart is officially back on the market as tabloids can commence tripping over each other to speculate whom she’ll begin dating.  After all, there are only so many false catfight rumors a publication can start about Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston.