Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Katie Holmes Wants You To Know Once and For All That Suri Cruise is Magical

New York – Even when Katie Holmes is allowed to leave the house as a devoted “wife” on husband Tom’s arm, she can’t help but wonder what little 3-year old Suri is up to.

She gushed to stylish lifestyle magazine recently, “She’s just amazing.  She already talks a blue streak, even speaking in tongues. It’s so entertaining that when I am out to dinner with friends, and the conversation seems a little dull, I think to myself, ‘W.W.S.S.: What Would Suri Say?’  Sometimes she speaks to me, once in a while to Tom, but mostly to her imaginary friends. They have their own floor in our brownstone.  In fact, we may even be going into talks soon for her own reality show featuring those very imaginary peeps and tentatively titled, ‘The Su-Ri-Al Life.’  (It's spelled differently, okay?!?) I fully believe she could turn barley water into wine.  But, as our family chooses not to imbibe, I suppose she'll just have to use her incredibly unique gifts to heal her future bunions from sporting baby Manolo Blahniks since she was a fetus. And, as she’s growing up at three times the rate of other little girls, I suppose she’ll need to have both feet broken and reset by next month. Oh, I did I mention she never needs to wear a coat, even in winter?  That makes it super easy for us to get through airport security.”

Previously published.  We will return live on 7/19.

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