Monday, July 12, 2010

Satan Says Mel Not Welcome in Hell

Hell - Satan, Prince of Darkness, came forward today upon the latest audio tape release recorded of racist/sexist actor Mel Gibson and confirmed that Mel is not welcome in Hell.

The devil told us, “It’s true, we have all sorts of mass murderers here, but Mel is a different kind of sick ticket. I heard the latest audio recording, and Mel made it clear that he left his first wife for Jesus. That being said, if he’s so convinced that Oksana is a whore, couldn’t he look upon her with the same eyes as Jesus did with Mary Magdalene? Yet, he does not. And whatever sin the skanky ho has committed he seems unable to forgive. Suffice to say, Mel makes me feel like a better Christian than he is and that really sticks in my craw. You have to understand, down here, even though we are burning in hellfire for all eternity, we still have a code of ethics. We have RULES. Just like child molesters are not welcome in prison and deserve to be killed on sight, beating a woman is our deal breaker down here in Hell.   I do believe that given Mr. Gibson’s beliefs, it would be much more of a punishment for him to go to purgatory. And once he crashes into a tree in a drunken stupor, so it shall be.”

1 comments so far :

Joe Fourpack said...

Actually, a fit punishment would be for him to go out and get a regular white collar job. That's worse than hell.

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