Lindsay Lohan May NOT Be an Asshole

Los Angeles - Reports have recently surfaced that troubled starlet, Lindsay Lohan, may be released from her court-ordered rehab early due to her not having substance abuse problems.  This diagnosis left many fans to wonder - WTF?!? Is she really just an asshole?

A doc at the UCLA rehab facility says no. Dr. Chad N. Freud -- a prominent L.A. asshole specialist -- tells Unsolicited Drivel that he believes that Lohan was misdiagnosed with ADHD and the prescription drug Adderall could be the cause of her assholiness.  He told us, “While being an asshole is certainly genetic, I believe that Lindsay was taken to a doctor to be medicated simply because her parents were assholes and couldn’t deal with being parents.   There is no conclusive evidence that Lindsay inherited the asshole gene herself, and taking a drug that is not needed, like Adderall in this case, can lead to similar effects of being an actual asshole.  This drug dependence could explain the tendency to drive around all night on a road to nowhere and text incessantly.  However, it doesn’t explain the tendency to fall for a girl who chooses to look like an ugly little homeless boy wearing scratchy wool hat when it’s over 80 degrees out.”